the BLOPE

Dealing with teenagers is never easy. It is also time consuming. SO we put together 3 very quick tips for keeping your cool, when you are about to blow your lid.  1) Pray this short prayer first: “God give me grace in the moment” . It is impossible to maintain control of your emotion apart from the grace of God, so be willing to ask for it. 2) Ask yourself, “What can I teach them right now?”  This thought will keep you focused on the greater parenting task which is teaching them the beliefs and life skills they need to become an adult. 3) Consider the context.  What physical changes could be causing this behavior? What relational pressures or circumstances might be fueling your teenager’s emotional response? That is it. Obviously, these things can only go so far but next time you feel like you are about to react in a negative way, just remember: Pray, Teach, Context. 

What is the difference between Reacting and Responding? Actually there is a huge difference. If you and I can understand that difference we can build bridges instead of walls in our relationships with teenagers.  This month’s online parenting class is focused on helping you as a parent learn some tips to “Respond” to your teenager in a healthy way. I want to start by sharing a great example from an experienced mom of teenagers: It was my favorite lip gloss! Burt’s Bees (the tinted one, no less) is not exactly cheap. And did I mention it was my favorite? What could she possibly have been thinking? Every sane person knows that when lip balm is left in a warm car, it tends to get soft. So what would possess her to twist it till it was all the way up and then try to push it back down into the tube? Really? Of course it split right down the middle. This would have been the perfect time to teach my teen the difference between reacting and responding. I failed. Aga...