the BLOPE

This is a great article from the folks over at Parent Cue about pursuing your student when they most need you to. Some great questions, plus a bonus resource with even more questions that will help you learn more about your kid.  4 Questions to Ask When You Notice a Shift in Your Child's Behavior - Parent Cue : Sometimes shifts in behavior are clear as day; other times they’re more subtle. We can pretend they aren’t happening, or we can be brave and lean in.

  Check out this article from Parent Cue

World War III doesn’t seem that impossible when you experience it first hand. It has to start somewhere right. Well, I believe with the fiercest of beliefs that these world changing wars  begin  in the back seats of minivans! And I don’t care what the ages are of the children who are sitting in the back of those minivans. Whether they are 2 or 18, they have a hard time sharing even the same air without some kind of skirmish resulting. Why do siblings have such a hard time getting along let alone acting like they love each other? Even the very first siblings, Cain and Abel, obviously had very serious issues! Siblings will forever be competitive with one another. They compete for the best grades. They compete for athletic positions. But mostly, they feel they are competing for your attention. And their sibling stands in the way of that accomplishment in their mind. Is one of your children more athletic than the other? Can one sing and the other can’t? Does one teen make better grades wit

In our last post we talked about the power of symbols.  I challenged you to consider how you could use symbols as a tool to help you pass down faith to your teenager. The reason I believe this is an appropriate method is that God used it. In Genesis 9:13-17 God used a rainbow as a symbol of His promise In Genesis 28:18-22 Jacob established a monument to remind himself of God’s promise to bless his descendants In Genesis 7:8-13 Aaron’s staff became a symbol to Pharaoh of God’s presence with the Israelites and His power  In Exodus 12 the Passover feast is rich with symbolism none more important than the use of the Lamb to represent coming salvation and it goes on and on…. the monument of 12 stones when the tribes of Israel crossed the Jordan river the 10 commandments given on stone tablets the ark of the covenant the Temple on an on… It’s not just in the Old Testament either.  In the New Testament we see symbols: the gifts of the Magi to Jesus in Luke 2 Jesus washing His disciples’ feet

I want to talk to you today about symbols.  A symbol is an object that has meaning attached to it, but it is also a great tool in the parent’s tool belt. Here are some examples of important symbols you may have in your life that carry important meaning: a wedding ring refrigerator art from when your teenager was a child a family heirloom that was passed down to you a moment in time that was captured in a photograph an item from your childhood home that takes you back in time when you look at it Symbols are powerful.  Today I would like to suggest that you harness the power of symbols to help pass down faith to your teenager. I will never forget when I visited Washington D.C. when I was in college.  We walked from monument to monument trying to understand something about the importance of America’s history. Washington D.C. is filled with symbols.  Each monument, each museum, and each statue tells the story of our nation. The power of symbols is evident today. Look how many are being tor

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I would like to begin by handing you a  machete . A  machete  is a long knife used in the jungle to cut through thick brush and create a path. It does not remove all the obstacles, but it does make the path easier to follow. I want to hand you a figurative  machete  and inspire you to start beating down a path through life for your teenager to follow. There is no greater spiritual influence in the life of your teenager than you.  As your teenager’s youth minister, the smartest thing I can do is to set you up to blaze a trail of spiritual heritage for your teenager to follow. That is why I want to encourage you to live out Psalm 145:4 with your teenager. “One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.” Here are 3 ways you can blaze a spiritual path for your teenager: Close the old trails- You might have had a trail marked out for you by your parents that led to lots of pain. You don’t have to continue that path. You can close that trail and  mark  a new on

Today I want to talk to you about being a rebel. You might not think of yourself as a rebel but you might be more of one than you think! To be a great parent today, you need to be courageous enough to visit your past. How did your parents raise you during the teenage years? What was your experience like? What did your parents teach you? What values did they pass down to you? It is so important to think back on that time even if it is painful for you. Because the pain can have a purpose. It can show you where you need to rebel. Your parents were not perfect, just like you are not a perfect parent. So there has to be some areas where you could give your teenager a better experience than you got. That is something you would Rebel against from your past. A great exercise for you to after you read this is to grab a piece of paper and make a list of the different ways you want to rebel from the way you were raised. In this case, rebellion is a very good thing. It can be one of the greatest g

Dealing with teenagers is never easy. It is also time consuming. SO we put together 3 very quick tips for keeping your cool, when you are about to blow your lid.  1) Pray this short prayer first: “God give me grace in the moment” . It is impossible to maintain control of your emotion apart from the grace of God, so be willing to ask for it. 2) Ask yourself, “What can I teach them right now?”  This thought will keep you focused on the greater parenting task which is teaching them the beliefs and life skills they need to become an adult. 3) Consider the context.  What physical changes could be causing this behavior? What relational pressures or circumstances might be fueling your teenager’s emotional response? That is it. Obviously, these things can only go so far but next time you feel like you are about to react in a negative way, just remember: Pray, Teach, Context. 

What is the difference between Reacting and Responding? Actually there is a huge difference. If you and I can understand that difference we can build bridges instead of walls in our relationships with teenagers.  This month’s online parenting class is focused on helping you as a parent learn some tips to “Respond” to your teenager in a healthy way. I want to start by sharing a great example from an experienced mom of teenagers: It was my favorite lip gloss! Burt’s Bees (the tinted one, no less) is not exactly cheap. And did I mention it was my favorite? What could she possibly have been thinking? Every sane person knows that when lip balm is left in a warm car, it tends to get soft. So what would possess her to twist it till it was all the way up and then try to push it back down into the tube? Really? Of course it split right down the middle. This would have been the perfect time to teach my teen the difference between reacting and responding. I failed. Again. There

Hey Parents! As you may know, we have been meeting online with students through Zoom meetings. I want to give you a brief introduction into setting up an account for your student. This is where we are doing our Digital Hangouts (EVERY weekday @12:45 pm) and boot ONLINE (Sundays @5:30 PM) with students. These meetings are password protected and as the host, I will have full access to mute students’ video or audio, allow students to join the group, and the group will end when  I exit the meeting. It is a safe way for our group to meet and allows us to continue to build our community. To Join: • Go to  bcsm513.com  and click on the appropriate link (either Digital Hangout or Boot). • A tab will open up and a download will start for the Zoom program. • Once downloaded, a screen will pop up to prompt you to put in a password. If you do not have the password yet, message me and I will get it to you. • After that, a screen will pop up to prompt you to allow video and audio. Click “a